if only these were true

• Hi, you're not late. Its my watch, its always fast.
• You look so sexy playing air guitar.
• Oh nice! You notice my breast.
• Oh no, if I wanted foreplay, I would have asked for it.
• That's ok. You'll remember my birthday next year.
• After sex, I'm out like a light.
• She meant nothing to you! Well, if you put it that way, I forgive you.
• Of course you can have some money for a lapdance.
• That's so funny! I collect comic books too.
• I could listen to you talk football all day.
• Can I ask you a question, can my friend join us?
  

Looking at the statements above, what a lame list. Ok ok, I've been late on a date before, I'll give you that but it wasn't by choice.

0-1.

I've never played air-guitar in front of a girl. Lame!

1-1.

Breast, yes of course.

1-2.

Who in the their right minds do not appreciate foreplay? Any guys who don't, don't deserve to have the woman beside them at all.

2-2.

Again another faux-pas, forgetting birthdays. Never to be done.

2-2.

Konk-out right after sex, that's just pathetic. Do people actually do this??

3-2.

This next one is a bit tricky, I've been in situations like this. It's never that straight forward.

3-3.

Borrowing money for a lapdance just don't happen unless you're with an escort or your liberal sister.

4-3.

Too coincidental to happen when you're back-packing in India to meet a hot American beach babe with the same interest. In fact, the idea of a Californian girl roughing it out just simply doesn't exist.

5-3.

No women, I'll repeat, NO WOMEN will ever listen to you babbling about how impeccable Torres's hair or Ronaldo's abs look like. If you do, chances are you're gay.

6-3.

Threesome, Foursome, Group, Orgy? Been there, done that. There is women out there who are into it and they are not ugly as people will let you know.

7-3.

Final score: 7-3 to me. I win.