building blocks

What is worse; talking to a brick wall or talking to someone who is unresponsive? I preferred a brick wall because at least you know it's an innate object unable to have feelings. Talking to someone who will not engage in any emotional depth is just tiring and Goddamn difficult! In the end, you'll end up getting hurt.

Recently, I've had flashbacks memories of Audrey. We were so good together but somehow it didn't work out. The separation has been awhile but it still feel fresh, like a wound about to heal. Why does it take so long?! She was beautiful, caring, intelligent, a wonderful person in every aspects but somehow it didn't work out. Why? I care for her tremendously, I believed her, I would give more than a pound of flesh for her - I was deeply in love with her and there is nothing else purer. We tried everything but in the end, I remembered being devastated and completely drained. Perhaps, we both felt the same. Sometimes, this city is unforgiving and I can't bear to be here. This city reminds me of her, everything and everywhere have faint traces of her, like a silhouette following me. They are beautiful memories but it does have its sharp thorns and when I let my thoughts wander, the heart remembers the hurt.

Those memories are hard to forget, but why would I want to forget them anyway, it is very much part of my life and my existence. Without it, I wouldn't be what I am now.