don't just look but see

What a day yesterday was! For the first time in 4 months, I've manage to sleep properly. I woke up on Monday after a leisurely 14 hours sleep! AMAZING! Luckily, I wasn't needed in the office and took my time. It was good to sleep but not so in terms of catching up with the day's work. Continuing my thoughts on Architectural theory, I've decided to include an excerpt from Bertrand Russell's, The Problems of Philosophy:

'Jeg er lei av å være som dette. Stadig opptatt, men i realiteten veldig mye alene. Deretter kommer noen som bryr seg om meg, push jeg henne unna. Hva er galt med meg? Er jeg redd for at jeg ikke vil ha noen nære i livet mitt? Kanskje, det er derfor jeg ikke kan være lykkelig. Sjansene kommer én gang, har dere å gripe øyeblikket, ellers vil den skli deg av og sitter du igjen med ubesvarte spørsmål. Jeg vet hun vil være å lese dette og jeg håper at hun vil forstå at jeg er et produkt av smertefulle erfaringer. Et produkt av tapte muligheter. Et produkt med konstant uro. Sist gang dette skjer, forlot jenta meg og det tok meg en stund å plukke opp bitene. Jeg tror ikke jeg kan klare det igjen. Jeg var fullstendig kaos. Hjertet er en skjør ting, og konstant arrdannelse leger ikke såret. Kanskje burde jeg bare spør og bekymring senere. Stille, jeg andre gjette meg og hvis jeg ser på meg selv nå, ville jeg ikke engang gi meg et annet blikk. Hvorfor skulle hun det? Nå that't sannheten. Jeg håper jeg blir bevist feil. Hvorfor blir jeg tiltrukket av henne? Vel, andre enn hennes fysiske attributter, er det hele uanstrengt. Jeg håper bare at hun føler det samme.'

**Translated: 'Is there any knowledge in the world which is so certain that no reasonable man could doubt it? This question, which at first sight might not seem difficult, is really one of the most difficult that can be asked. When we have realized the obstacles in the way of a straightforward and confident answer, we shall be launched on the study of philosophy, for philosophy is merely the attempt to answer such ultimate questions, not carelessly and dogmatically, as we do in ordinary life and even in the sciences, but critically, after exploring all that makes such questions puzzling, and after realizing all the vagueness and confusion that inderlie our ordinary ideas. In daily life, we assume as certain many things which, on a closer scrutiny, are found to be full of apparent contradictions that only a great amount of thought enables us to know what it is that we really may believe.'

What does this all mean? Well, I'm in the process of interpreting a public space in the Spanish capital. On first glance, the site itself presents various contradictions. Urban, local, decay, homeless, elevation, disjointed, peace, religion, crusade are just some of the words that describe it. The site is complex and difficult. Compared to the other districts, its soul stems from the residence as well as the homeless - a very rare situation. My approach has change tremendously since I started, from 'tidying' to 'rearranging' and finally, not to interfere. Homelessness is often followed closely with stigma but what we don't realise is that, there is a surge in Middle-Class educated homeless people and the recent study made by London boroughs supports this. This trend is also visible cities like New York. People who never thought that they'll slide into homelessness are staring it in the face. We can't keep categorising them into boxes and place them accordingly. We can't pretend to think that we know what is best for them. We can't keep doing the same mistakes. So, the question now is, does all this urban 'tidying' and 'rearranging' is helping anyone or is it to stroke our own professional egos?

Yippee!! In my mind, I think we've made some progress but I'm not so sure if the Brunette (schauen Sie vorsichtig, und ich bin sicher, dass Sie es finden werden. nichts ist, was es scheint) thinks the same. Emotions were running high. People say don't drink-dial or drink-text but honestly, emotional texting is even worse. The wording just gets tangled up in a mess and the message becomes a battle ground. I misfired a few and got pinned down with heavy artillery fire. But unlike modern warfare, a ceasefire was reached after a peace dialogue. And like all peace talks, the continual negotiation is expected before an agreement is reached. If 1 is war and 10 is peace, I believe we are at 4. Oh no!!