mile high

Don't you just love top 10 lists? Of course you do! The memory of playing 'Top Trump cards' with your friends during school recess. I'm sure everyone has a friend like Peter, who will be so smug with his A10 tank buster fighter with 1200 rounds/second gun rate. But, Ah-ha! You have the Tornado jetfighter plane with the best speed to weight-ratio. He's going down. Pass it over Peter, you're mine! There is of course a reason for my ramblings. I've recently found a website that lists absolutely everything in 'Trump card' style rankings. Amazing right? Some are obvious, some are less and some are downright weird. [Light bulb moment] Wait a second; perhaps I should share my new found knowledge every fortnight, what a great idea. So, this week's lists include:

The Obvious Choice: 15 most beautiful airports. Before we start, obviously the writer isn't an architect. When have any of us described airports/buildings beautiful? Modernist, green, futuristic, haphazard - Yes, but beautiful? Get a life! Airports & air travel has recently been through a tough period. I would have thought the airport operators, aircraft manufacturers & the airline operators worldwide would have employed the help of a ludicrously expensive PR agent & a talented political White House spin-doctor to contain the collateral damage. Obviously, I was over-estimating them. Anyway, without further ado:

1. Incheon, Seoul 2. Barajas, Madrid 3. JFK, New York 4. Denver Airport, US 5. Hong Kong International
6. Bilbao, Spain 7. KLIA, Malaysia 8.Changi, Singapore 9.Kansai, Osaka 10.Beijing, China
11.Munich, Germany 12.Dulles Airport, Washington 13.Dalaman, Turkey 14.Charles de Gaulle, Paris 15.Stanstead, London
I believe airport design does not require a fresh/new design but a complete overhaul of how we envisage air travel. Of course, there were man-made flying object earlier on. In fact, the Chinese developed a kite around 200 B.C whereby generals were required to strap themselves and fly over enemy territory to measure the length of tunnel required for an invasion. Unfortunately, it didn't work very well so they decided to tie prisoners to the paper kites to their inevitable death. In the 20th century, its practicality was subjected to technical innovation. The introduction of turbo-propeller aircraft, transatlantic jets, wide-bodied aircrafts, high by-pass engines and advanced avionics were the main contributors. These technology brought higher speed, bigger cabins, better cost controls resulting lower fares & rates. As population grew combined with higher income and more leisure time, the world became a much more connected environment and this in turn creates a tremendous pressure on logistical issues. In recent years, with the increase in global terrorism and the need for extra security, airports have become a scapegoat for inefficiency. Add environmental issues to the mix and, voila, public enemy No: 1.

No matter how beautiful (??), modern, open and light these new airports are, the underlying problem of air travel experience of the future remains. Airport design is obsolete. I've decided to focus more on airports in my future posts. Watch this space!


The Less Obvious Choice: 12 Spectacular Erections. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Take it easy there. Before you jumped of your seats, I didn't go through hours upon hours of that kind of porno! I'm talking about mouth-watering feat of engineering marvels during its time in the modern world. Not just any kind of engineering but the ones that will stand hundreds of years. Provided they don't get bombed, collasped or being swallowed by the rising sea level. Sigh. Looking at the list again, it seems pathetically insignificant compared to our ancient ancestors.

1.San Francisco Golden Gate Bridge 2.Burj Khalifa, Dubai 3.Palm Island, Dubai 4.Empire State Building, NY
5.Taipei 101, Taipei 6.World Trade Center, NY 7.Verrazano Narrows Bridge, New York 8.Infinity Tower, Dubai
9.Sears Tower, Chicago 10.Oakland Bay Bridge, SF 11.Highway Building in 40's 12.Shanghai Financial Center


Finally, The Downright Weird: 10 Anti-Masturbation Device. Yes, you did read it right. It happened to all of us at one time or another. Boys & Girls. You're in your bedroom with a copy of Playboy, Playgirl or a Jilly Cooper novel; rubbing & tugging to your hearts content. Totally focused on the job when BOOM! Parents walked in and you literally caught with your pants down. Shit! Take heed people, one should follow the righteous path of abstinence of one's self. If the task is too hard, I'm sure the lists of devices below will quell your inner demons. Enjoy the weekend.

Top from L-R:

1.Bea Arthur 2.Metal Penis Enclosure 3.French Electric Anti-Masturbation Machine 4.Holy Bible 5.Steel Teeth

Bottom from L-R

1.Anti-Masturbation Suit 2.Anti-Masturbation Penis Clamp 3.Clamp Belt 4.Copper Anti-Fetting Device 5.German Chastity Belt