chaotic wisdom

Decided to write another post, I'm feeling a bit generous today. Mmm... What shall I write? A retrospective on a city, philosophy or wines? I can't decide, maybe a story. I recently visited an old friend in Hanoi, Vietnam. He moved there several years ago after a mixture of a failed marriage & disillusionment. We were working in the same studio at one point and we dated the same girl although thankfully not at the same time. I met Mia while I was studying, she majored in German & French and we hit it off. Amazing as it was, the reality of our romance hit a major setback. She had to move to Germany for her studies meanwhile, I'll be stuck in Blighty for mine. We didn't discuss much about it but looking into her eyes, we both knew the long distance romance will fade. We promised each other to write but in reality, there is only so much you can expect from young love. The calls & writing stopped after a few months except for the odd platonic Christmas and birthday cards. And I thought that was that, I was wrong.

I met Tim a couple of years later, while working in a exciting medium sized studio. We were partnered to propose a multi-development project in East London. The times were good. Projects were abundant, clients were flexible and work was coming in hard and fast. One night, the whole studio was invited by a big client to a soiree they were hosting and we were encouraged to bring our partners along. I had none, so I decided to bring a prop which consists of a woman's coat plus purse borrowed from my helpful neighbour. Until now for the life of me, I still don't know what went through my mind back then. Mad cow, I guess. It was a great night and that was when I met up with Mia again but this time, she was dating Tim. The coincidence was bizarre, we talked and laughed about everything and there wasn't awkwardness from Tim at all. Anyway, a year on they got married and was happy as ever. On the surface, nothing was off but near the end of the marriage, the stress of a young family and the pressure of architecture work put a strain on their marriage. We consoled each other but Tim's hectic work schedule in Europe inevitably ends up with him having an affair. To make it short, they divorced. He left the practice and moved to Asia.

So here I am in Hanoi with torrents of motorbikes largely ignoring the traffic lights or any road signs whatsoever; everyone in the city honking their horns. I'm surrounded in chaos only to stop in awe admiring the city and its architecture. Most of the traditional communal houses have courtyards around them. They looked squeezed in between taller brick and plaster buildings that's reminiscent with parisi-enne buildings. Adding to this mixture, you'll see Buddhist, Taoist temples and Christian churches. The city is painted primarily in white, brown and mustard yellow hues. The white taller structures jut up like asparagus shoots in random clusters. There is nothing here that one could describe sleek, everything is worn down either by hands, weather, pollution and car scrapes. If that's not enough, water stains jostles with peeled plasters for dominance in its facade. Everything here is done on the streets from bathing babies, cleaning the motorbikes, serving Pho to waiting customers, locals enjoying locally brewed beers served extremely cold, shopkeeper selling anything and everything and finally to local artists painting portraits of Barrack Obama. This city is the epitome of pandemonium.

I met Tim at the Press Club for drinks and we talked. It was good to see him again. He's still alone but at least he's happier here. His practice is running well, focusing more on local materials for modern living. We touched the subject about Mia; it seems they have a mutual understanding - their child together. He sees his kid regularly in Hanoi and London. As the conversation went deeper, we switch from beers to wine, white Rioja and others, which includes Allende (Spanish), Beronia (Spanish), Mas de la Devèze (French) and Clot de I'Oum (French). On reflection, I'm unable to ascertain his real feelings about the whole situation. Sometimes during our conversation, I could detect some regret in his chosen words and voice. We didn't leave till late that day and for the next 4 nights, I explored the city further trying to discover the essence of what is Hanoi, the city amid the waters. Before I left, we met up again briefly to say our farewells and extend an invitation in London when he's around.

Hanoi still feels like a village although it is a bustling and flourishing city. Hanoi is where the Vietnamese adversarial relationship with China helped forge the characters of its citizens against the invading French & Americans. And Hanoi, with its crumbling buildings and chaotic appearance evokes a deep feeling of romanticism, something that Tim might be searching for after he had lost it years ago.

Divorce: To sum up: When there are no children, divorce should be obtainable at the request of either party. Where there are children, the usual ground should be mutual consent; other grounds should be insanity, grave crime, habitual drunkenness, and certain other diseases. Adultery per se should not be a ground.

Definitely something worth remembering...